How many of us struggle to truly rest?
Or to give ourselves grace when we’re not performing our best?
I thought I knew how to relax until a past partner said to me, “You have a really hard time relaxing.” To which, I immediately defended myself, thinking, “I know how to chill. I’m so chill.”
It wasn’t until much later that I saw what they saw. I had a really hard time allowing myself to rest, and more significantly, resting and not feeling guilty about it.
Rest used to look like lying down and thinking about all of the things I WASN’T doing. Riddled with a running mind and guilt, it was difficult to conjure up a nap or rest that felt restorative.
I’ve been thinking a lot about transitions, which often require rest and a lot of grace towards ourselves.
Life is full of them…
seasonal, relational, professional, hormonal…
Perhaps the biggest hormonal transition that premenopausal women experience is the shift from an estrogen-dominated state to a progesterone-dominated state.
In other words, from ovulation, when we feel social, sexy, and highly energetic, to menstruation, when we feel insular, motivation is lower, and energy dips.
Most of us haven’t received sufficient education on this shift, or on our bodies, period.
AND no one taught us how to transition from the sex kitten ovulation phase to the risk-averse, preparing for pregnancy phase.
When we expect ourselves, especially women, to show up the same every day, we often create more suffering by resisting our natural rhythm – which is constantly in transition.
Understanding where I am in my cycle and learning to give myself grace in the aforementioned transition has been life-changing.
Knowing how to care for myself, like what to eat and how to exercise during the different phases of my cycle, has brought so much more ease into my life. Again, things they don’t teach us about our bodies – but information that makes all the difference for short and long-term health.
If reading this creates a wanting in you to learn how to do this too, let’s connect – I’d love to support you.
Whether it’s my monthly cycle or the other changes that life throws my way, here are 3 things that help me during transition:
- Remembering everything is temporary.
This too shall pass. When things feel challenging and heavy, I like to recall the times when I thought I wouldn’t get through something, and then DID. Impress yourself with your own strength and resilience!
- Reflecting, journaling, and confiding in someone you love and trust.
In the context of your cycle, I call them “luteal downloads” because of the deep insights that can be gained during this time. If journaling isn’t your thing, maybe it’s a reflective walk or creating a quiet moment to be alone with your thoughts. Taking time to get grounded will allow you to rise up with roots that are that much stronger.
- Reframing what feels like loss into learning.
There’s always a win on the other side when you can identify what you’ve learned. This isn’t about toxic positivity, but rather about shifting perspective and staying curious. Curiosity opens us up, judgment closes us down. What might be possible if you remained open to new ways of seeing a challenging time?